2011 is one of my better years yet since moving here to Arizona. I've been out here since 2006 and nothing but drama, problems, depression, failure, and so on that went on. 2011 took a little turn to the good side and helped me keep some of my hopes up. I only say some because I'm still not where I'd like to be.
In the earlier part of the year, I finally started working again for an amazing company with amazing people. Nearly half of the time was rough for me because I'm not used to receiving "thank you," "you're amazing," "you're a great person," 'you're very efficient," etc and not knowing what exactly I should say but at least I ended with a simple thank you to all of them. I've never really received so many compliments and appreciation from a lot of people that I could think of. Usually I get people that would talk down to me, make me look bad, make me feel stupid and worthless. Oh and get this, even when I have a boss who's a female, things don't go to well for me except for this job. I love the people I work with because they make me feel like I'm a valuable person and they see the good in me.
When I started at the place where I work now, I told myself to "only focus on the job, don't worry about making friends or if people like or hate you, just stay focused and keep in mind you do what you do for your kids and yourself, and do your best!" It's worked so far. I've gotten good reviews, received my first raise (first ever in my life), units fighting over me (not literally), but it's been a good year at work.
The only downside to my job is that I don't make as much as I used to and it's hurting me alot but not as much as when I was receiving unemployment but still close. The important thing is that at least I have a job that helps me pay for my car, the car insurance, gas, some food, and expenses needed for my babies, plus I made sure I got the best health insurance. I don't get to go shopping as much or even take my kids anywhere because I don't make that much anymore.
Here's a glimpse of what happened:
- My kids were out of school for an extra month because their school decided to move to a new location in the middle of the first quarter.
- My sister's husband more than likely cheated on her, probably still is but finally had the gutts to tell my sister he wants a divorce. It's okay because it's definitely his loss. My sister is an amazing, dedicated, faithful wife and mother of two whom waiting for her husband to come back from Iraq, then.... that's another story to be told but like I said it's his loss.
- My other brother-in-law finally after nearly a year of waiting got a job with the post office, but decided to quit (or got terminated) after a couple of months.
- My other sister gave birth to a beautiful amazing little baby girl.
- My dad told us to find a home that we could finally own, to find out it's not even happening. His reason for wanting to find a new home for us is that he felt bad that I live in a small room that I share with my children and knowing there's not much room and wanted to assure that we didn't have to live that way. I know my living situation isn't so great but it's only temporary and my kids and I make the best of what we have. Plus the room is only a place where we sleep and not spend most of our time in it.
- I tried and tried and tried to get my ex for child support throught the courts clearing house and no success. It's been nearly over three years and no child support received. It would be great to have it around because it would definitely help with part of my finances for my kids but it obviously isn't happening.
- Went to Las Vegas in after four years or so and finally decided to give an unexpected surprise to my ex-in-laws so that they could see their grandchildren. They inturn gave me an unexpected surprise as well but not intentionally I guess. They told my kids father that we were there and he showed up, in which I don't really have a problem with but what bothered me was so many other things. (Another story to be told). I didn't really expect to see him at all, I didn't show up with my kids for him but for his parents. His parents and I needed closure and that's what I gave them but at the same time it was all a crazy and scary experience that I could only wish not to happen again especially with the ex. He had the nerve to show up the next day with his new daughter and the mistress (once my friends and never again especially after their betrayal) to introduce to my kids. I didn't let it happen because my kids are doing fine and for him to try to bring another woman and a kid into their world it's going mess them up and make them confused. Now is not the time but when the time does come it will only be when my kids are much older.
- I got another ticket ... for speeding. I was so happy that day and in a good mood not realizing how fast I was going. It was a long stretch of road with only one car well make it two after being pulled over. LOL.
- This was one our best Chrsitmas in Arizona. Although our family isn't complete meaning the father of my children and also the father of one of my sister's children wasn't around and more than likely won't be around at all, those that were there are the one's that mattered. But my sister and I decided that just because our family was a bit broken doesn't mean we can't give our family a great Christmas. So we litterally drained our account so that we could make this Christmas one of the best Christmas's that our kids would remember.
- My car died on me, kept breaking down, finally after so long got it fully maintenance hope to only pay what was quoted $348 but ended up paying $1451 because someone (the ex) screwed up the sparkplug thing to where they had to work at getting the darn thing out and having to rethread or whatever it is they had to do with the cylinder and blah blah blah and paid the unexpected cost. Ouch in my pocket.
- After the "Ouch in my pocket" I realized that my payment wasn't going to go through for my car and so I called the place up and told them the situation. I also noticed they already cashed half of what I normally would pay and told them that's all I could come up with. Usually it's okay because "they understand" but by the time I was able to pay my car payment for the next month and this happened to be a day before my son's birthday, I called and was the jolly ol' me.."Hi I want to make a payment on my car please".... "Sorry mam but did you know we REPOED your car last night?" Oh I tell you my heart dropped smack straight to the damn floor. Something I wasn't expecting at all because from the last conversation I had I swore we were on the same page that everything was good but no. Even though payment was made they still counted it late so by the time I wanted to make my payment they said I was 28days past due. I do everything I could so this crap won't happen because that's the only car that takes me and my kids places. So the one thing that I absolutely didn't want to also happen and had no choice to was get help from my parents. It's like someone stabbed me in the heart with a knife again and just kept trying to turn the inside. But after a long long day I was able to get it back. I'm so thankful and greatful for my parents.
- Now about the same time I find out the credit card company well their lawyer's been trying to hunt me down for I guess I year now got orders to garnish my wages. It sucks because when you try to work with them, they won't help you, they made things worse. I had payments already arranged, I had asked them if I could on;y pay a certain amount since I had didn't have left to pay them, then when I had no more money in my account they kept trying to take money when there was nothing left in my bank. And since they did that it made my back account negative $900 so I had to leave it and go elsewhere. Well now I'm stuck with a garnishment that will take forever but I'm not too bothered by it because at least it's being handled now and I know I owe it. I just hated the fact they could help me when I asked especially when they too asked to help. Get it?
I'm still upside down and financially drained. I'm thankful I have a job even though it's not enough to get by but at least I got great benefits out of it. This year I also learned that I need to focus more on myself and my kids and not to worry so much about what others thought or would think. I didn't care so much about being with someone although at times it got lonely but I wasn't affected by so much... not emotionally at least. I just made it fun talking about cute guys with my sisters like we're in highschool again but nothing more, so no Mr. Man, no lovey dovie, no smooches, no BOYFRIEND at all this year. It was and still is a great feeling. No one too boss me around, no one to nag at me, no one to control me. When one comes, it'll come and I hope he's the one a good man, a good heart, a good person all around.
Like I said this past 2001 went by so fast that I didn't have time to stop and think for a moment to relax and see what's really happening. I guess I went with the flow and made it through another year. It was stressful still and depressing at time but at least I wasn't out of it and I didn't waist my time moping and being sadly drained with my situation. Financially I was drained a bit or more but not to the extent that it hurt me and family. My priority the well being and happiness of my family and I will continue to keep it that way as long as I live. These obstacles won't ever bring me down but will help me be better and become stronger as I pass them because my fmaily is worth all the sacrifice as long as I could give my family a life they deserve. Fixing and making our life better takes time and I've expected that "it takes time to heal." I was off to a slow start (2011) but I'll be picking up the pace this coming new year. I'll need all the luck I can get so that I could give my family a better and brighter future. The year still had a lot of obstacles to overcome, lots of bumps on the road to get over, but still made it through another year. I did what I had to do but this next year will be better, guaranteed.
